Scooping cold butter out of a jar that’s the size of a shot glass with a pretty fresh piece of bread doesn’t make sense to me. And I can’t call you a scofflaw (there’s that word, burnt into my brain forever) because no one will arrest you because of the way you eat butter (but don’t you have utensils?). It seems like a lot of energy is being used to eat like this. Well, now I’m wondering if this is a reasonable solution for offsetting the calories you’re consuming but I don’t think so. I didn’t say anything but I did think about last August when you spent a whole decade, or 10 minutes, whatever, lampooning me, displaying your understanding of proper eating techniques, cutting food, holding a fork and other stuff. You insisted that I do it right because I’d be embarrassing at parties or other special things. But I still haven’t eaten at any parties or special things, and now I’m afraid to eat food in front of people.