I don’t like Brooklyn. When I leave the train and I don’t feel the busyness that I expect, I feel nonplussed: both definitions work here. I guess I’m used to being punched in the face by my normal surroundings. People say that everything is cheap in Brooklyn (it’s really not cheap). I don’t want to move there but I might have to now. But I’ve been there a few times. I went to this honky-tonk bar there. Live music every night. I was having fun but not that much so I decided to go home. People dancing makes me feel depressed because I’m an uncoordinated sloth. I stopped at the bathroom first but someone was in it. When it opened, an arm popped through the crack about a foot wide and grabbed me. And can you believe that this happened? I was pulled into the damn bathroom and he tries making out with me, tries having sex with me. I think I laughed at him. I pushed him away and left. Maybe I should have given him my business card. I didn’t go to this place alone but I didn’t tell him what happened for a few weeks. He was pissed when I did. I can think of a few reasons why I won’t go back there.